For Wolfe City couple, God's agenda became their own

WOLFE CITY?For Monte and Missy Weaver, adopting a child was just as much a lesson in learning to love a child they had never met as it was in learning to work with God's agenda and not their own.

The former lesson came easily; quite naturally, really. Missy had known since she was in intermediate school that, someday, she wanted to adopt a child. Her parents had divorced when she was very young and when her mother remarried, Missy's stepfather adopted her. That act of love made an indelible impression.

Because the conviction to adopt was so impressed upon her heart, Missy said any future husband would have to share that desire. Monte did and nine years ago this March they were married.

They began life together in youth ministry. Having a family was something they always "planned to do later."

Five years ago the couple moved to Wolfe City, about an hour north of Dallas. Monte is pastor at Calvary Baptist Church and Missy works from home keeping the books for her parents' pharmacy. Having children was something they would do when they were out of debt and had a little more money in the bank, they reasoned.

In retrospect, Missy said, "The whole idea about planning for children" seemed somewhat ridiculous. Throughout the process of becoming parents God would work on their attitudes and perspectives. Before finally deciding to have children Monte said they had to seek God's forgiveness for their attitudes about having children.

He confessed, "Our putting off was selfishness or lack of faith in God."

Once they did decide to have a child of their own Missy never became pregnant. But instead of seeking a diagnosis for what might be an infertility problem, the Weavers sought parenthood through adoption.

As they began to pray about the adoption and for the child they hoped to bring home, Missy said, "We just sensed this overwhelming burden that we had a daughter waiting for us in China."

Working with the Christian-based America World Adoption agency, the Weavers began in March 2007 the arduous task of filling out the necessary paperwork, completing personal interviews, and submitting to home studies in order to be accepted as potential adoptive parents.

They hoped to travel to China by the summer of 2008. When that did not happen Monte said they began "getting specific with God" and asked "to bring their healthy child home by Thanksgiving 2008."

That milestone came and passed as well.

They kept praying for Abigail.

The Abigail of Monte and Missy's expectations was an infant. No more than 3 years old. And healthy.

But God began to put on their hearts the prospect of adopting a special-needs child. By Chinese standards, "special needs" is not only defined by physical ailments or disabilities but by age. Any child older than the age of 3 is considered special needs. After all, it is argued, people want to adopt babies, not older children.

The Weavers had begun to reflect on mission trips they had taken to Mexico working in the orphanages.

"Wouldn't we have brought home any of those children?" they asked each other.

Not only was God adjusting their perspective on the timing of their adoption but on the age of the child.

So last Feb. 1