WOLFE CITY–For Monte and Missy Weaver, adopting a child was just as much a lesson in learning to love a child they had never met as it was in learning to work with God’s agenda and not their own.
The former lesson came easily; quite naturally, really. Missy had known since she was in intermediate school that, someday, she wanted to adopt a child. Her parents had divorced when she was very young and when her mother remarried, Missy’s stepfather adopted her. That act of love made an indelible impression.
Because the conviction to adopt was so impressed upon her heart, Missy said any future husband would have to share that desire. Monte did and nine years ago this March they were married.
They began life together in youth ministry. Having a family was something they always “planned to do later.”
Five years ago the couple moved to Wolfe City, about an hour north of Dallas. Monte is pastor at Calvary Baptist Church and Missy works from home keeping the books for her parents’ pharmacy. Having children was something they would do when they were out of debt and had a little more money in the bank, they reasoned.
In retrospect, Missy said, “The whole idea about planning for children” seemed somewhat ridiculous. Throughout the process of becoming parents God would work on their attitudes and perspectives. Before finally deciding to have children Monte said they had to seek God’s forgiveness for their attitudes about having children.
He confessed, “Our putting off was selfishness or lack of faith in God.”
Once they did decide to have a child of their own Missy never became pregnant. But instead of seeking a diagnosis for what might be an infertility problem, the Weavers sought parenthood through adoption.
As they began to pray about the adoption and for the child they hoped to bring home, Missy said, “We just sensed this overwhelming burden that we had a daughter waiting for us in China.”
Working with the Christian-based America World Adoption agency, the Weavers began in March 2007 the arduous task of filling out the necessary paperwork, completing personal interviews, and submitting to home studies in order to be accepted as potential adoptive parents.
They hoped to travel to China by the summer of 2008. When that did not happen Monte said they began “getting specific with God” and asked “to bring their healthy child home by Thanksgiving 2008.”
That milestone came and passed as well.
They kept praying for Abigail.
The Abigail of Monte and Missy’s expectations was an infant. No more than 3 years old. And healthy.
But God began to put on their hearts the prospect of adopting a special-needs child. By Chinese standards, “special needs” is not only defined by physical ailments or disabilities but by age. Any child older than the age of 3 is considered special needs. After all, it is argued, people want to adopt babies, not older children.
The Weavers had begun to reflect on mission trips they had taken to Mexico working in the orphanages.
“Wouldn’t we have brought home any of those children?” they asked each other.
Not only was God adjusting their perspective on the timing of their adoption but on the age of the child.
So last Feb. 18, the Weavers completed the application for the America World Waiting Child program, putting them in line to adopt a child that did not meet their original ideal. Just five days later they received their first online referral. They would receive a few more before Abigail appeared.

Missy said at the outset of the adoption process she and Monte had prayed specifically for two things; that God would receive the glory for all that transpired and “that we would know her face when we saw her.”

Recognizing Abigail was not necessarily an awe-inspiring moment, they joked. On a Thursday Missy checked their status on the adoption agency’s online account. The face of a little girl with a repaired cleft palette appeared.

“Oh. How cute,” Missy cooed. She called Monte to the computer to show him the image.

“Isn’t she cute?” Missy asked.

Monte’s monosyllabic “Yeah” was a little less enthusiastic.

Neither thought much more of the child until the next day.

Monte recalled, “The Lord put this girl in Missy’s heart to start with. The next day Missy woke up and couldn’t get this girl’s face off her mind.”

But Abigail would be the child the Weavers almost missed.

Missy returned Friday to the America World Adoption agency referral list only to find that the girl she had seen Thursday was no longer in the system.

“We missed her,” Monte said, recalling their disappointment.

The next Monday the agency called the Weavers to say the little girl was back in the system. She was 5 years old, had undergone cleft palette repair surgery and would need more. But, they knew her face.

In June of 2009 the Weavers received pre-approval from the Chinese government to begin the adoption process. By mid-October the work was done. China had approved the adoption and sent the respective paperwork to the Weavers. They signed it and sent it via FedEx to the adoption agency. In order to finalize the contract America World had to send the signed paperwork back to China. The agency was one day away from doing that when they received a disturbing phone call.

They passed the news on to Monte and Missy. Abigail was sick and had been hospitalized—bedridden and paralyzed from the waist down. She was diagnosed with acute transverse myelitis, a rare condition caused by swelling on the spinal cord.

The agency immediately put a stop action on the adoption. The physical condition of the prospective adoptive child had changed dramatically and the agency needed to be assured the Weavers would go through with the adoption once they arrived in China.

“They basically gave us the option to get out,” Monte said.

If they had traveled to China and then bowed out of the process they would never again be permitted to adopt from that nation.

The thought never crossed their minds. Before Missy and Monte ever saw her face they knew they had a daughter in China whom they would name Abigail (Hebrew for the father rejoiced or father’s joy). They had loved her before they could hold her. And now they feared they never would.

Monte said convincing the adoption agency that they were sincere about their desire to bring Abigail home, in spite of her condition, was not a problem. What they feared was the Chinese government putting a halt to the process.

He said, “Our greatest fear was they weren’t going to let us take her home.”

For the Weavers, Abigail was already their child and they needed to get to her so they could bring her home and care for her.

The agency was convinced and within a week Monte and Missy were on their way to China. Expediting the travel was a miracle, Missy said. Getting travel arrangements so quickly is unheard of.

Once in China there was some confusion regarding Abigail’s condition: When had she become sick? How long had she been hospitalized? What treatment had she received? Communication was hampered by the fact that the province in which they traveled was a Cantonese-speaking region and the Weavers’ guide spoke Mandarin.

But it was finally determined that Abigail had been in the hospital for about two months. The Weavers believe her care was most likely not up to U.S. standards and therefore, if there had been any chance of recovering in the early treatment stage, that hope was gone.

But no matter, they said. She was their daughter and they were taking her home. Monte said there had been so many confirmations of God’s hand in the whole process, guiding them from their own preconceived ideas of who they would adopt and when. God even had a sense of humor with regard to one of their more specific prayer requests.

With a chuckle Monte said, “We were in China with our daughter on Thanksgiving Day 2009 eating pizza at a Pizza Hut,” an allusion to the previous year’s prayer that they would have their daughter by Thanksgiving 2008. Right day, albeit a year later, he said.

Missy said Abigail is adjusting well to her new home and loves her extended family. Monte said it took three weeks for him to get a hug out of his daughter. Because there were few if any men in her life in China he believes she was apprehensive about making that physical connection. But, he said with a touch of feigned jealously, it only took three days for his brother to coax a hug from her.

Their church family has been extraordinarily gracious to their newest addition and Abigail has warmed up to them. Missy said she is becoming less shy though she still wants to have her mother in sight at all times.

The Weavers have even had Abigail examined by a doctor in the Dallas area who specializes in diagnosing and treating acute transverse myelitis. There will be more exams and probably one last surgery on her palette. Monte said unsolicited donations have been made to the family to offset some of their medical expenses. As an SBTC pastor, Monte has insurance through GuideStone and Abigail has been added to that policy just as a birth child would be.

Missy suspects their daughter had little education in China but she is picking up English and fundamental academics rather quickly.

The Weavers were afraid that their story would be a discouragement to anyone with thoughts of adopting, but they have seen the opposite. A family member who had been considering adoption is now going through with the commitment, encouraged by how Missy and Mont dealt with the situation they were thrust into. Missy said she hopes their church, and others, can be a source of information and support for those considering adoption.

Their advice to prospective adoptive parents?

“Don’t wait until you think everything is lined up. Start to pursue it and see what God opens up.”

To read about the Weavers’ adoption process and see pictures of the family, visit lovingabigailhome.blogspot.com.

In partnership with Fort Sherman Academy, the SBTC will host travel and safety trainings for short-term mission team leaders on Feb. 20 (level one) and March 25-26 (level two) at the SBTC offices in Grapevine.

This training deals with the kinds of issues mission team leaders need to be prepared for while traveling internationally or in high-risk areas, said Tiffany Smith, SBTC missions mobilization associate. It will cover questions such as: What happens if someone goes missing? Who do we call if a team is detained by a foreign government? What are our rights if held by foreign government officials? What is the best way to go through customs when on a mission trip? How can we do some preventative training with our team before leaving for the field?

Since 2001, the Fort Sherman Academy has trained over 13,000 people from 47 government, commercial, church and mission organizations. To date, at least 62 of those graduates have since endured and survived incidents like those covered in the training workshops and the DVD-based curriculum called “Safe Travel Solutions.”

“We have seen a significant increase in the number of kidnappings, illegal detentions, carjackings, home invasions, and other violent crimes against people traveling internationally,” said David Dose, Fort Sherman Academy president. “These acts underscore the growing danger and the call for security training to address these specific issues. As we are called to go, just staying at home to be ‘safe’ is not a realistic option for many of us. We must find innovative new ways to reasonable continue going where we are called, and that means being better prepared to travel and respond to challenges appropriately.”

Fort Sherman is one of the world’s largest providers of advanced travel security courses, crisis management instruction and high-risk hostage survival training to civilians. Dose is an authority in hostage survival and anti-terrorism training for civilian and faith-based audiences, having consulted not only in training but also in recovery efforts of persons detained or kidnapped outside the United States.

“I have personally received training from both David Dose and the DVD curriculum,” she added. “In this world of uncertainty and increasing violence, I believe that it is vital for anyone leading teams overseas to commit to take the time to be prepared in the event of a crisis. The stress level in a crisis can be drastically reduced even by team members just knowing that there is a plan in place.”

In addition to the eight-hour level one training on Feb. 20, there will be a level two training March 25-26. The advanced training will delve a little deeper into security issues and precautions to take when traveling in secure areas and how to prepare for potential crises.

Youth leaders or team leaders working along the Mexican border are highly recommended to attend at least a level-one training due to the unpredictable events occurring along the border. To register for either training session, visit sbtexas.com/travelsafety.

R. Albert Mohler, Jr., president of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, will be the keynote speaker at the annual SBTC Cooperative Program Luncheon at noon Tuesday, Feb. 16 during the Empower Evangelism Conference at Arlington Convention Center.

Mohler has been recognized by such influential publications as Time and Christianity Today as a leader among American evangelicals. In fact, Time.com called him the “reigning intellectual of the evangelical movement in the U.S.” Called “an articulate voice for conservative Christianity at large” by The Chicago Tribune, Dr. Mohler’s mission is to address contemporary issues from a consistent and explicit Christian worldview.

A prolific writer, Mohler has also served as pastor and staff minister of several Southern Baptist churches. He came to the presidency of Southern Seminary from service as editor of The Christian Index in Georgia, the oldest of the state papers serving the Southern Baptist Convention.

A native of Lakeland, Fla., Mohler is a graduate of Samford University in Birmingham, Ala., and Southern Seminary and has done additional study at the St. Meinrad School of Theology and Oxford University (England).

Dr. Mohler also serves as the Joseph Emerson Brown Professor of Christian Theology at Southern Seminary. His writings have been published throughout the United States and Europe. In addition to contributing to a number of collected volumes, he is the author of several books, including “Culture Shift: Engaging Current Issues with Timeless Truth” (Multnomah), “Desire & Deceit: The Real Cost of the New Sexual Tolerance” (Multnomah), “Atheism Remix: A Christian Confronts the New Atheists” (Crossway), “He Is Not Silent: Preaching in a Postmodern World” (Moody), and, most recently, “The Disappearance of God: Dangerous Beliefs in the New Spiritual Openness” (Multnomah). From 1985 to 1993, he served as associate editor of Preaching, a journal for evangelical preachers, and is currently editor-in-chief of The Southern Baptist Journal of Theology.

A leader within the Southern Baptist Convention, Mohler has served as chairman of the SBC Committee on Resolutions and served on the seven-person Program and Structure Study Committee that recommended the 1995 SBC restructuring as well as the committee that recommended revisions to the Baptist Faith and Message in 2000. In addition, he is a member of the Great Commission Resurgence Task Force.

Tickets are $10 and may be purchased at sbtexas.com/cp.

Comedian Tim Hawkins is the scheduled entertainer for the annual SBTC Senior Adult Luncheon at noon Wednesday, Feb. 17 at the Arlington Convention Center.

Hawkins has been accused of being equally gifted and twisted. His parodies, musical and otherwise, are making him a household name as they receive thousands of hits on the online video site YouTube.com.

His arsenal is unique: high-energy stand up, physical comedy, slick guitar skills, myriad impersonations, improvisational chops, and a singing voice that adapts from hair band shrieking to country songster to a parody of the generic music minister.

“People think I live a rock-star life,” quipped Hawkins. “Believe me, Mick Jagger never gets lost in a Hertz parking lot looking for his Ford Focus.”

A former college All-American baseball player, he traded the sports stage for the comedy stage and never looked back. The St. Louis native taught himself to play guitar and tested the waters at area comedy clubs, launching a full-time comedic career in 2002.

His art form was honed primarily in churches, with a brief 6-month stint performing in prisons.

Tickets are $10 and seating is limited. To register, visit sbtexas.com/evangelism and click through the Senior Adult Luncheon tab under “Upcoming Events.”

PORT ARTHUR?The lack of immediately available financial resources often is a stumbling block for couples who feel called to adopt. But churches are among those embracing a culture of life by meeting a portion of those needs.

“If we’re going to be pro-life, we’re going to do all we can to encourage life,” said Dustin Guidry, pastor of Ridgewood Baptist in Port Arthur. Adoptive couples may apply for funds from a designated account at the church that will be sent to the adoption agency they are using.

When Guidry and his wife, Kerri, adopted their third child, they benefited from a grant through Show Hope, an organization begun by musician Steven Curtis Chapman. That assistance was particularly helpful as they adopted the special-needs child. Two of the four Guidry children were adopted through Homes of St. Mark in Houston, which offers the advantage of setting fees on a sliding scale based on income. Their first son joined the family late last year.

Ridgewood picked up on the idea gained through Guidry’s experience with Show Hope and began inviting members to contribute to a fund to aid adoptive families of the church. “We give up to 50 percent of the highest amount in the fund in a six-month period. If it’s at $5,000 then the church gives $2,500 to the adoption agency on behalf of the family. If two people come in, that allows us to fund two families within that period with an equal amount of money,” Guidry explained.

A recent letter from a family receiving one of the grants relates the gratitude for such help. Describing the “unique road of adoption” as having been filled with roadblocks that seemed impassible, the family shared, “The Lord has always used one common means to bless us with children?unselfish people. People who found themselves in situations they didn’t plan made the tough decision to choose life. People who carried and nourished life for nine months chose selfishly to give that life away. Others who wanted a different life for the children they loved sacrificially placed them in our home,” they added.

“With our latest blessing, the Lord brought in a whole new dynamic, you, the family of Ridgewood. What a surprise it was for us to find out that we would be recipients of a monetary gift through the church’s adoption fund ministry.”

The family praised the church’s commitment as “a body of believers who are living and practicing the pure and undefiled religion mentioned in James 1:27.”

When the first family received a grant and church members caught a glimpse of the newly adopted baby, Guidry said, “People started giving like crazy.” The church has yet to have a circumstance in which the fund was completely drained in a six-month period, although the pastor would see that as a good problem. “If we had to take up an offering to meet our commitment that would be easy to raise,” he added.

Another congregation, Grace Family Baptist Church in Spring, offers grants to member families who adopt and is looking into the possibility of interest-free loans for members pursuing expensive international adoptions.

Such grants are particularly helpful for families who are given short notice of the availability of a child for placement. Pastor Voddie Baucham experienced this firsthand after the Bauchams adopted their last child through Covenant Care last fall.

“Were it not for the help of such a grant, we would have been in no position to consider this adoption on such short notice,” stated Baucham in his online blog post to the church. “By God’s grace, we were blessed to have help in our time of need so that we could help Micah in his time of need.”

“There was never a time with the adoption of our four children that we were financially able on the front end to pursue adoption,” Guidry admitted. “However, somehow and some way God was able to provide for each adoption. We found that our adoption process mirrored our adoption into the family of God in that we were utterly unable to provide for our adoption through salvation, but praise be