I still remember the worst Father’s Day gift my brothers and I ever gave my dad.

We sat on the edge of my parents’ bed that late-1980s Sunday morning with eyes full of excitement as my dad unwrapped his brightly colored Jams shorts and T-shirt emblazoned with a cartoon, surfboarding Tyrannosaurus Rex. To his credit, he acted like he loved this bizarre outfit that no self-respecting 40-year-old man would want to wear in public. 

From corny to cliché to cringe-worthy, Father’s Day gifts are notorious for being bad, but good dads see beyond the ugly ties and receive them with joy and gratitude.

But, dads, let me challenge you to turn the tables on your family this year. What if, instead of receiving gifts, you gave your family a gift this year? What if you gathered your family around you and committed to lead them spiritually for the next year through regular family worship?

Deuteronomy 6:5—which Jesus considered the greatest commandment—says, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.” What’s interesting is that the verses that follow explain one of the primary ways families love God with all their heart, soul and might:

“… And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” (Deuteronomy 6:6-9)

These verses are the foundation of a practice known as family worship or family devotions that Christians have participated in for centuries. It’s simply setting aside one or more days per week to read the Bible, talk about it and pray together. And Scripture is clear that the father should take the lead when possible.

If you’re like me, the idea of leading your family to make this a regular pattern is both exciting and scary. Most men, even those who are spiritually mature, can feel inadequate or unprepared for such a task. So many questions/objections come to mind—What do we do? How long should it be? What if I’m not that knowledgeable about the Bible?

First, let me just say that if you feel your blood pressure raising as you think about these questions, you’re not alone. Second, let me encourage you to buy yourself a Father’s Day gift to help guide you—Donald Whitney’s practical and concise book, appropriately titled Family Worship.

For less than $10 and fewer than 75 pages, this is the perfect jumpstart to leading family worship. The book includes a discussion guide that you could read with your wife or another dad, and as an added bonus, you can sign up for a free five-day email course on family worship at crossway.org/FamilyWorship101.

After a short survey of Scripture and church history showing the value of family worship, Whitney dives into the how-tos and what-ifs. One of the things I like about Whitney, which can also be seen in his book Praying the Bible, is that he doesn’t overcomplicate things or give too much “how to.” For example in this book, he says family worship is comprised of reading the Bible, praying, and singing, and can last as little as 10 minutes. Those looking for detailed guidance on nuts and bolts won’t find it in this book, which is probably good. One of the things I’ve learned is that flexibility is key when leading family worship, and Whitney provides enough structure to get you off the runway, but he allows each family to determine the best flight path.

Whitney also answers some “what if” questions, such as “What if the father is not a Christian?” or “What if your children are very young?” or “What if there is a wide range of ages among the kids?” Overall, the book is a quick, helpful read for families of all ages and spiritual maturity levels.

Imagine years from now, sitting with your kids and grandkids talking about Father’s Day, and one by one your children speak of the greatest Father’s Day gift you ever gave them—the spiritual legacy you gave them as you regularly taught them what it looks like to love God with all your heart, soul, and might through family worship.

LOUISVILLE, Ky. Twenty-seven leaders in the evangelical community gathered to address attendees of the Council of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood’s (CBMW) Together for the Gospel pre-conference April 11-12 in Louisville, Ky. The conference, themed “The Beauty of Complementarity,” was designed to give attendees a chance to hear from an array of voices on complementarianism—the theological viewpoint held by Southern Baptists and many other evangelicals that distinguishes men from women in regard to roles and functions while ascribing equal value to both genders. 

The conference topic was not without controversy, with a large portion of those posting to the official social media hashtag #CBMW16 criticizing CBMW organizers for promoting patriarchy and limiting women’s involvement in certain church and family roles. Speakers, however, stood firm in their alignment with complementarianism, citing biblical texts that shape the view and noting their recognition that the issue of gender roles is one wrought with controversy.

“As we gather in this room, I am reminded how counter-cultural this very event is,” Jason Allen, president of Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, said at the outset of his 15-minute talk.

CBMW tasked Allen with addressing complementarianism and the disappearance of men. Allen cited statistics demonstrating that men no longer dominate the workforce, that one-fifth of able-bodied men are unemployed, and that 60 percent of both college- and master’s-level graduates are female. While these statics are telling about society and culture, Allen said what he most wants to examine is the state of the home and church.

“Regrettably … we acknowledge and we see around us that practically speaking, many of our churches are practically bereft of male leadership,” Allen said. “And many churches abide in a subtle fog over what biblical manhood should look like. In many of our churches, biblical men are like corks of testosterone bobbing in ponds of estrogen.

“We have to acknowledge that pop evangelicalism has not done much to help. Even within the church, much of the emphasis on manhood has not been very helpful at all, and it sends us—encourages us—toward two different erroneous poles. One of these poles has said in essence to be a better man, to be a better Christian man, men should become more like women: more thoughtful, more caring, more romantic, always mindful of expressions of romance and dutifully carrying them out. The other pole, alternately, at times sounds much like a beer commercial, frankly, glorifying machismo, gruffness and honoring the strong arm. Through this, the church must recover biblical manhood, Christian masculinity—what we might think of as ‘sanctified testosterone.’”

Allen went on to offer five practical ways to foster the reappearance of biblical manhood in the church and home, including frankly telling a church when a qualified man is not available for a position rather than playing “word games” in changing titles so that a woman can fill the role out of pragmatism. 

Trillia Newbell, a freelance writer and author who serves on staff with the Southern Baptist Convention’s Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission, gave her testimony to the group of how she came to leave feminism and embrace complementarianism. Newbell said she grew up a liberal “holiday Christian” who was fully pro-choice and held Oprah as her role model.

Newbell said after she was saved in 1998 at the age of 19, God changed the entire course of her life. 

“Something radical happened to my perceived notions of rights when God captured my heart with his gospel. Nothing was the same,” Newbell said. “As my heart began to be transformed, so was my worldview.

“I don’t have a strong desire to fight with the world or to fight with feminists or anyone. My desire is to proclaim Christ. He gave me new life, and I know that he can do that for anyone—anyone listening, anyone out there, anyone you’re reaching out to. He does it. He transforms hearts. He transformed mine.”

Courtney Reissig, author of The Accidental Feminist, also gave her testimony during the conference, explaining how the Lord turned her once-rebellious heart toward a complementarian mindset. She described the journey to complementarianism as a “bumpy one,” and recalled that while her Christian family practiced the Bible’s teaching in that respect, she did not grow up knowing the term. Ultimately, God used her family and his Word to solidify in her mind an understanding that all humans are created equal as image bearers of God but that men and women have distinct roles.

Heath Lambert, executive director at the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors and associate professor of biblical counseling at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, also spoke, reminding attendees of the words of Psalm 119:37: “Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things.” Tying the verse to the current trends, even among pastors, of looking at pornography, Lambert talked about how counter-complementarian the specific sin is.

“If you look at pornography, you are not a complementarian,” Lambert said. “Everything about pornography undermines everything about complementarity.”

During a panel discussion, Southwestern Seminary’s Candi Finch, a theology professor in women’s studies, was asked what gender role-related issues arise in the classroom where she trains women for future ministry. 

“I’ve been distressed of late because while I’m excited that we’re encouraging women to do what they are biblically encouraged to do, I think some complementarians have gone too far,” Finch answered. Referencing 1 Timothy 2, she addressed those who claim that “as long as a woman is not authoritatively teaching, she can do whatever she would like in the church.”

“They’re saying as long as she is not the pastor, she’s not the authoritative teacher. That’s not what that Greek word didasko means. There’s not authoritative teaching and unauthoritative teaching,” Finch said, adding that such a distinction is unhelpful and unbiblical.

Also speaking during the pre-conference were Gavin Peacock; Thomas White; Danny Akin; Grant Castleberry; Anthony Moore; Sam Allberry; John MacArthur; and John Piper, one of the CBMW’s founders and co-editor of Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, a foundational book on complementarianism. Video of the sessions can be viewed at cbmw.org.

LOUISVILLE, Ky. Owen Strachan, president of the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (CBMW), said that instead of a culture thriving thanks to movements of feminism and egalitarianism, society is crumbling because of them. In a message April 11 at CBMW’s conference on “The Beauty of Complementarity,” Strachan pointed to the rise in marital separation and divorce and the effects of “hookup culture” on college campuses as just two areas of society negatively impacted by movements of the previous century.

“This is in the age, by the way, of the great social experiment that has seemingly triumphed over the kind of viewpoint that we are talking about in this conference. This is supposed to be when our culture is enjoying the spoils of egalitarianism and feminism,” Strachan said. “Instead, young men and women are experiencing profound heartbreak, are on all sorts of medication, need hours of counseling. And we have to realize this is not a successful revolution.”

In rapid-fire fashion, Strachan offered 10 thoughts on how important complementarity is to human flourishing, juxtaposing things the world says with responses from a biblical worldview. 

Of the 10, Strachan first touched on the creation order.

“The world says that there is no such thing as hard and fast manhood and womanhood,” Strachan said. “Complementarity says, in response, the man and the woman are God’s own invention. We have been taught that the age of creation is the preeminent matter in Genesis 1. … But please note this, in Genesis 1, the apex of creation is not [the earth]. It is man and woman. It is male and female. That is the apex of God’s super-intelligent design, his creative work. It’s not the trees. It’s not the Grand Canyon. It’s man and woman. That is God’s masterpiece. What does that tell us about whether manhood and womanhood are important? Does that perhaps signal something to us in our theological systems about how we should think about anthropology?”

Strachan gave three specific replies he would suggest offering to those who argue that issues of manhood and womanhood are trivial and less important in the grand scheme of theological doctrines. 

“Now the gospel is paramount for Christians,” Strachan said. “Christ is our head, but even in speaking of that language, I’m using complementarian verbiage. Am I not? If somebody says to you within the church that manhood and womanhood are really not that important—‘they’re nice little doctrines that if you want to kind of geek out and focus on those, we can have a club for people who are hopped up on manhood and womanhood, but the rest of us really aren’t going to focus on that stuff’—you tell them these three things:

1 No doctrine of the Word of God is small. No doctrine. None of it is unimportant. God doesn’t give you a ranking system in Scripture for any doctrine. You don’t have the privilege, you don’t have the right, to rank any doctrine. 

2 Humanity is the apex of creation. 

3 If we even say, ‘The gospel is foremost in our thinking,’ which is true, which I affirm, it is. What is the gospel but the message—the eternal message—the undying truth that Jesus died for his bride? You could say it this way: ‘The gospel has a complementarian structure. Complementarity is not the gospel, but the gospel cannot be vacuumed out of this complementarian structure. It is not possible for us to do if we will hold to what the Word of God teaches.’”

Strachan explained that the church is not formless nor its shape open to interpretation, but Scripture prescribes how it should operate. 

“We recognize the teaching from Scripture on church leadership as a blueprint,” Strachan said. “It is not an office that Paul prohibits women from holding in 1 Timothy 2; it is a function. He does not say women cannot be an elder. He says that he does not permit a woman to teach a man or exercise authority over him. We need to hold fast to this teaching. Brothers and sisters, hear me clearly: My eyes are wide open. We are battling on this point today. We hold this—it can feel like, ‘Oooo, that’s a bridge too far.’ But it is a function. Go back to the Scriptures. Don’t take my word for it. Search them. Is this what Paul prohibits?

“If this sounds too rough to you, then I fear that you may need to work out your submission to Scripture because this is basic Bible teaching when it comes to complementarity. Of course we also must say this, that if women are not teaching in the church, then it is being unfaithful to God’s plan. Women must train women, right, per Titus 2? Sometimes people say to me, ‘As the president of CBMW, do you support women teaching in the church?’ And I say, ‘If women are not teaching in the church, something is terribly misfiring.’ Women are called to train other women, especially in homemaking, discipleship, in building a home, in managing a home—these are things that are highlighted by Paul in Titus 2.” 

In addition to serving as CBMW president, Strachan works as associate professor of Christian theology and church history at Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Kansas City. Video of his session at the CBMW conference can be viewed at cbmw.org. 

ATLANTA— A diverse group of 18 women is studying the perspectives and strategies women in Southern Baptist churches bring to the God-given task of fulfilling the Great Commission.

They comprise the Women’s Ministry Advisory Council appointed by Frank S. Page, president of the Southern Baptist Convention Executive Committee. The council joins a list of advisory councils Page has appointed to provide insight into the needs, desires and goals of the many groups represented in SBC life.

“We are excited about encouraging our leaders in women’s ministries across our convention,” Page said when he announced plans to form the council. “Women, we appreciate you, and you are not alone!

Click here to read TEXAN Special Report on Women’s Roles in Ministry

“In each [advisory council] meeting, we have sought to educate and encourage various demographic subsets about the ‘proven and effective cooperative framework’ of our Southern Baptist Convention, foster open dialogue, and instill the essence of any and all concerns,” Page said. “We have sought to encourage confidence in the SBC way of doing missions.”

Advisory council member Chris Adams, senior lead women’s ministry specialist with LifeWay Christian Resources and a member of Long Hollow Baptist Church in Hendersonville, Tenn., praised Page’s efforts.

“Many women in Southern Baptist churches do not feel valued as leaders though they want to make a kingdom difference,” she noted at the advisory council’s first meeting. “The fact that the SBC Executive Committee has asked about women in our churches is huge. Thank you for affirming the value of women and encouraging the use of our spiritual gifts in ministry.”

Rhonda Kelley, an adjunct professor of women’s ministry at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary where her husband Chuck Kelley is president, chairs the council.

“While the SBC has always valued the worth of women and followed the biblical guidelines for female roles in the church,” Rhonda Kelley said of the group, “there is a sincere desire to increase the involvement of Southern Baptist women in biblically appropriate ways at all levels of the convention and to provide the support services to maximize their service.”

Kelley, a member of First Baptist Church in New Orleans, referenced LifeWay Research indicating women comprise about 52 percent of church congregations. Historically, she said, women have often been the majority in church attendance and in participation in service projects.

Southern Baptist women are encouraged to participate in the council’s online survey at surveymonkey.com/r/SouthernBaptistWomen. In addition, comments may be emailed to sbwomen@sbc.net.

Kelley described input from women across the SBC as “essential for the task force to complete its important assignment.” 

The advisory council will work throughout 2016 and present its findings to Page in an official report, expected to focus on ways to increase women’s participation in church and SBC life. The inaugural meeting was held Jan. 7-8 in Atlanta.

Questions considered by the council at the first meeting centered on the ministries, training and resources the SBC provides for women; effective evangelistic methods and resources in reaching women with the gospel; any additional support women might need from the SBC; and recommendations regarding women’s ministry to be made to the SBC Executive Committee.

Women from 14 states comprise the council, representing different age groups, stages of life, ethnic backgrounds, and ministry positions. 

Joining Kelley and Adams are:

• Jacqueline “Jacki” Anderson, pastor’s wife, Women in Ministry director and executive assistant, Colonial Baptist Church, Randallstown, Md.;
• Tabitha Barnette, pastor’s wife and speaker, Peace Baptist Church, Decatur, Ga.;
• Brandi Biesiadecki, pastor’s wife, writer, speaker and women’s minister, First Baptist Church, Bartlesville, Okla.;
• Linda Cooper, Woman’s Missionary Union president and a member of Forest Park Baptist Church, Bowling Green, Ky.;
• Lourdes Fernandez, an attorney and a member of Riverside Baptist Church, Miami;
• Candi Finch, professor of theology in women’s studies at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and a member of Hope Church, Fort Worth, Texas;
• Ann Iorg, wife of Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary President Jeff Iorg and a member of First Baptist Church, San Francisco;
• Elizabeth Luter, wife of Southern Baptist Convention immediate past president Fred Luter and women’s ministries director of Franklin Avenue Baptist Church, New Orleans;
• Davee Ly, pastor’s wife, school teacher, speaker and Sunday school director at First Hmong Baptist Church, Morganton, N.C.;
• Ana Melendez, Hispanic state women’s consultant and a member of Iglesia Cristo Es Rey, Bolingbrook, Ill.;
• Mary Mohler, wife of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary President Albert Mohler and a member of Third Avenue Baptist Church, Louisville, Ky.;
• Trillia Newbell, director of community outreach for the SBC Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission, and a member of Redemption City Church, Franklin, Tenn.;
• Rhonda Rhea, pastor’s wife, columnist and speaker, and a member of First Baptist Church, Troy, Mo.;
• Myra Sermon, registered nurse and nursing consultant, and a Sunday school teacher at Grace Filipino Church, Woodbridge, Va.;
• Ashley Unzicker, church history songwriter, rapper, Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary student, and a member of The Summit Church, Durham, N.C.;
• Angela Um, founder and CEO of Boston Academic Consulting Group, and wife of the pastor of Antioch Baptist Church, Cambridge, Mass.