FORT WORTH Ministry to Millennial men at Fort Worth’s Christ Chapel embraces a “show me” rather than a “tell me” approach, which aligns with the church’s philosophy that life in Christ is a story meant to be shared.

“We want to transplant the DNA of a missionary into the [everyday] young adult world,” young adult pastor Ben Fuqua explained.

This approach involves bringing church to unlikely places.

During the academic year, Christ Chapel’s college ministry meets on Sunday mornings in the Aardvark bar on Berry Street near Texas Christian University. Services draw more than 200 college students weekly.

The bar is closed till noon on Sundays. Its location inspired the outreach to TCU students when the church’s facilities were full during a building project. The bar owner, not connected to the church, opened his doors.

“One of my favorite parts … has been building a relationship with the owner and his bartenders,” Fuqua said.

Fuqua called the ministry the “frontline” of what Christ Chapel is doing to reach Millennials. College and young adult home groups are also available, as is mentoring by older believers.

For those beyond college, Christ Chapel began Renovate, a Wednesday night service attended by 230-240 young adults, average age 26.

Fuqua preaches three out of four Wednesday nights and said the services are designed to give Millennials a platform to reach co-workers, neighbors and friends for Christ.

“We spend a lot of time, energy and prayer trying to make Wednesday night disarming, not over anyone’s head, where the gospel is shared, where it’s relevant, really holding up the Bible and biblical preaching,” Fuqua said, voicing the church’s intention that services provide “conversation starters” at offices and neighborhoods. 

Each June, Renovate meets outside church walls with activities such as worshiping at parks, feeding the homeless at community centers and partnering with an African-American congregation. 

On June 28, Renovate sent groups to Waterside, an entertainment complex popular with Millennials and featuring a central park surrounded by restaurants. 

“The plan was to mingle and love our neighbors well, maybe buy a few people food and just eat with them,” Fuqua said. “We had a lot of great conversations. Some of our guys picked up the tab for some meals as we engaged with our city and other young adults.

“A big part of our ministry is going to them. We need to enter into [Millennials’] world, see where they hang out, where they do life, where they spend time,” Fuqua explained. “We see Jesus doing this, entering into a world of broken people. He taught at synagogues, but he didn’t only teach at synagogues.”

Even after regular Wednesday night Renovate services, groups are encouraged to go out in the city afterward, “not to huddle together” but to present gospel community where one “can belong before you believe,” Fuqua said.

The American church’s “default position” of waiting upon Millennials to return is concerning, Fuqua added, explaining that Millennials may have heard the truth as children, but they want more. They want to see “what it looks like to be a Christian, to live out the gospel.”

Fuqua admitted that Millennial women are quicker to participate in church programming, while men remain “a little more standoffish.”

“Our approach that we don’t want to just talk at you, we want to walk it out with you, has attracted more men. To tell men that they need to be on mission and they need to be missionaries is empowering.”

—Ben Fuqua, young adult pastor

“Our approach that we don’t want to just talk at you, we want to walk it out with you, has attracted more men. To tell men that they need to be on mission and they need to be missionaries is empowering,” Fuqua said.

This philosophy has led to an unusually high participation rate at Christ Chapel of young men who thrive on community and challenge. In fact, more men than women signed up for a recent coed mission trip to Belize. The missionary with whom the group worked remarked that in more than 20 years, he had never seen men outnumber women on a coed trip.

Chase Distasio, a 24-year-old marketer for a private equity firm who attends Christ Chapel, agreed that reaching young adults is “tough for a lot of churches.” 

Distasio became a Christian in college, afterwards spending a year in Residency, Christ Chapel’s discipleship program.

“Millennials struggle with pride,” Distasio said, adding that he once found church “intimidating,” assuming “everyone inside was perfect.”

“I wanted to have it figured out,” he added, praising Renovate’s commitment to meet Millennials “where they are.”

Christ Chapel has learned that with Millennials, if you challenge them to go, they will respond. 

“We tell our people, ‘You are in the community. You are living in the world that God has put you in. See yourself as a missionary,’” Fuqua said. 

People gathering together is a universal activity throughout the world. And there’s nothing quite like a room full of women bringing international food!

The air quickly fills with smells of curry and sounds of repetitive conversations. We each have to restate words several times to comprehend what is being said through thick accents (or a southern accent in my case).

Learning to love people from other cultures is a process. It’s not something we automatically do. Have you noticed that? Yet, Scripture says, “The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself” (Leviticus 19:34).

Opening your home is one way to create space in your heart for learning to love cross-culturally while also communicating favor and friendship.

Here are some steps I’ve learned:

1 Learn to dissolve presuppositions.

They came in wearing black burqas, they took off their robes and shoes and went to the bathroom to fix their hair. All of sudden these women who crowded around a mirror, chatting and laughing, seemed like, well, normal women. 

Did I really think they weren’t normal because they wore burqas? They were women, like me. I’m the one who mentally put them into a different category. We often make assumptions about someone’s life based on a news clip we saw on TV. We must work at seeing people as people, no matter their culture or beliefs.

2 Learn to be comfortable with being present.

Americans have watches, but other cultures have time. We are fast-paced Americans who feel awkward with silence. When building a cross-cultural friendship, there will be quiet moments where you’ll feel uncomfortable. They probably don’t. In many cultures, presence communicates friendship even in silence. Work at not rushing and just being present.

3 Learn their religion and culture.

Learning about another religion is not denying your own. Asking questions communicates a posture of being interested and often gives insight into why they believe what they do. Ask questions—Why do women cover their heads? Have you been to Mecca? What does the red dot (called a bindi) on your forehead mean?

These are not offensive questions. You’re learning. They want to learn too. By learning about them, you’ve created a safe place for them to ask you questions. And they will—Why do you put ice in your tea? Why do you baptize? Why do you teach people to drink Jesus’ blood?

4 Learn to be confident in the power of the gospel.

Love the gospel, but lose the sales pitch. We don’t have to convince someone that the gospel is true. It is true. And it is the power that brings “salvation to anyone who believes” (Romans 1:16). And we need to lose the fear that we might have to defend our faith. There is a place for apologetics, but often these casual conversations are not it. Ask them to tell a story about their beliefs, and you will eventually have an opportunity to story the gospel.

5 Learn to contextualize.

Don’t alter who you are, but learn to do things acceptable in their culture. I’ve so messed this up. The first time I had Hindus in my house I cooked chicken! They were vegetarian.

Develop a keen awareness to cultural cues and implement them. I’ve learned to eat rice with my hands, and I’ve learned to “bobble” my head side to side. They want to learn American culture, too, and they feel a mutual friendship when you learn theirs.

6 Learn to create margin to live life with them.

Our lives are so busy that we schedule ourselves right out of a life on mission. After you’ve had them in your home, what’s your next missional step to connecting with them? Many internationals living in the States want an American friend. Statistically, few have found them. Let us work at loving foreigners, from our prayers to our daily lifestyle.  

Lori McDaniel serves as a global mission catalyst with the International Mission Board. She and her husband, Mike, and three children were missionaries in Africa before returning to plant Grace Point Church in Bentonville, Ark., where Mike is the lead pastor.

While the Man Church phenomenon has gained momentum among some congregations, ministry geared specifically to men is missing in action in many churches today.

In response, the Southern Baptists of Texas Convention has teamed with Eric Reed and Don Munton of Houston’s First Baptist Church to produce the “Roles of a Man” video resource, now available online from the SBTC.

Reed has served Houston’s First for nearly a dozen years, most recently as men’s minister, while Munton has been the church’s single adult minister for almost two decades.  The tag team duo disciples Houston’s First men using the Roles curriculum developed by Munton and honed by decades of teaching.

Reed and Munton believe a clear and compelling men’s ministry is vital to the health of a church. When churches step away from specific men’s and women’s ministries, Reed said, they may be forsaking the teaching and equipping of leadership and future generations. Additionally, Munton added, men’s natural proclivity toward passivity combined with society’s devaluing of the roles of men have made the need for discipling all the more necessary.

The practice of men’s ministry is changing, SBTC church ministries associate Lance Crowell said.

“There was a day when large men’s events like Promise Keepers were the norm. We are seeing fewer of these. Fewer churches have men’s ministers. Men’s ministry is incorporated into other areas.”

Lance Crowell

“There was a day when large men’s events like Promise Keepers were the norm. We are seeing fewer of these. Fewer churches have men’s ministers. Men’s ministry is incorporated into other areas,” Crowell explained.

“Churches are rethinking how to engage men holistically,” Crowell added, noting that many churches emphasize smaller groups to create and sustain community. Familiarity encourages participation in church events as men attend functions with their life groups or Sunday school classes.

“The buy-in is a lot higher when you are in relationship. Relationship is where we must engage men,” Crowell added.

A relational discipleship approach requires a solid foundation in the basics of biblical manhood, Reed and Munton told the TEXAN. The Roles of a Man curriculum is a six-week series taught to men of all ages in groups of varying size at Houston’s First.

“We teach from [ages]18 to 80,” Reed said.

The series grew from material Munton discovered in the late 1980s in David McLaughlin’s  book The Role of the Man in the Family. With McLaughlin’s permission, Munton adapted the curriculum, adding material from other teachers, including Kanakuk Kamps’ Hank Harmon. When Reed joined Munton on staff at Houston’s First, they adopted the team approach to teaching Roles of a Man.

As its title suggests, the material is for all men, not simply husbands or fathers.

““Single or married, old or young, single again or empty-nester, the biblical role of the man is for every man in every season of life.”

Don Munton

 

“Single or married, old or young, single again or empty-nester, the biblical role of the man is for every man in every season of life,” Munton explained.

“Men’s ministry is a three-legged stool,” Reed said, requiring a vision of biblical manhood, faith skills and a supportive, intergenerational community to help when life becomes difficult.

Based on more than 20 Scripture passages, including Colossians 1:28-29 and Genesis 2-3, Roles of a Man declares that men are loved by God and play valuable biblical roles as provider, protector, discipler and servant leader, Munton said.

The series can be taught at a weekend conference, although Reed called the material too “intense” for that setting to be optimal. Six weeks works well, Munton said, adding that initial sessions focus on “perspective,” a term he clarified with sports analogies, likening men’s roles to positions on a team.

The two prefer to teach together. “We share stories from each other’s lives, … pass the baton to each other, interrupt each other if necessary,” Reed said. “We want to model biblical friendship. We don’t believe the world encourages that enough.”

Crowell, desiring to make the resource available through the SBTC, approached Reed and Munton about doing a video series.

Reed and Munton were initially reluctant since the curriculum is evolving and they thrive on audience interaction. Eventually, though, they decided the video would be “healthy” to do.

“The Holy Spirit will interpret for the men watching,” Reed said. “We will be faithful to prepare our hearts and deliver it with passion and truthfulness. We decided to create a resource, not replicate a weekend.”

The curriculum has proved meaningful to thousands of men, single and married, Munton said.

The church as a whole benefits when all men are discipled, Reed and Munton insisted.

“Ultimately, men’s ministry is a ministry to the whole church. It’s not a church inside the church. It is a ministry to the church itself,” Reed said.

At Houston’s First, after each week of class, the men are asked to put into practice what they have learned. The application of theology—called “applicology” by Reed—encourages men to apply their knowledge in Sunday school, community groups or elsewhere at church.

“After the six weeks of classes, these men are stabilizing and enhancing classes and the church,” Munton said, adding that families and work places also benefit long-term.

Men who catch the vision of biblical manhood “step in as a big brother to the [fatherless] children” and participate more fully in the life of the congregation, Reed said. “The more men grow, the more they should be giving their lives away. We see men grow up, and they begin to serve. It’s a beautiful thing.”

“Biblically speaking, I want to equip and train men to walk out of this church to their office space, to their neighborhood, to the little league team, to their families.”

Eric Reed

“Biblically speaking, I want to equip and train men to walk out of this church to their office space, to their neighborhood, to the little league team, to their families,” Reed added.

As for the Roles of a Man video resource, just as McLaughlin originally gave Munton permission to use his original material without charge, the SBTC videos are available at no cost.

“We want to do whatever we can to lift men up and help them play their role in the game of life,” Munton said.

Roles of a Man is designed for groups of all sizes and is available online or in a two-disk DVD set, with a downloadable guidebook, at sbtexas.com/rolesofaman.