Texan encourages church planting wives to embrace their call with joy

CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA—With more than 1,400 church planting personnel appointed by the North American Mission Board last year, the nationwide push toward church planting has opened up a niche in the market—specifically the need to resource these men and women, many of whom are serving in pioneer areas.

Christine Hoover, a church planter’s wife with Texas ties, is meeting that demand head on by encouraging the wives of church planters with a new book, “The Church Planting Wife.” Recently released by Moody Publishers, her book offers women serving alongside their husbands in pioneer missions practical tools to embrace their call with joy.

The Hoovers’ call to church planting began in 2008 when Christine and her husband Kyle, a graduate of Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary who served on staff at Central Baptist Church in College Station, planted Charlottesville Community Church in Virginia. The new plant targeted a transient community comprised of military and university personnel.

Starting out as a living room Bible study of 10 people, the church now averages 400, has already helped plant two more area churches, and is hoping to launch a third plant in the D.C. area.

In her book, Hoover chronicles this journey to growth—the growth of her church and her role as a pastor’s wife—and the struggles unique to women in church planting.

In an interview with the Southern Baptist TEXAN, Hoover said she wrote the book she needed before entering the church planting process.

“When my husband and I planted [our] church in 2008, we attended church planting conferences and read countless resources, but none specifically spoke to me as the church planter’s wife,” she said. “Then we actually planted the church and my want for resources turned to craving.”

In light of the absence of resources available for women in church planting, Hoover said she turned to books that encouraged her faith such as missionary biographies and books about spiritual warfare.

“All along, however, I longed for a book that addressed the specific needs and struggles that I had as a church planting wife.”

Framed around the heart, “The Church Planting Wife” addresses the common problems—external and internal—faced by wives of church planters. These struggles, Hoover said, change as new plants progress through different growth cycles.

“Through every stage, the church planting wife faces a constant struggle of maintaining proper boundaries and priorities,” Hoover said. “The lines between ministry and family life are so blurred in church planting that it easily can affect the marriage relationship between the church planter and his wife. Priorities require constant attention and adjustment in church planting.”

In the church’s initial stage, uncertainty and discouragement can easily choke out faith, Hoover said.

“In the exhaustion of the second year, [the church planter’s wife] must decide if she is willing to continue sacrificially serving and giving, even if there are few ‘results’ to show for what she has already given.”

As the plant stabilizes, Hoover said the church planter’s wife much learn to “eradicate pride” that can come with new growth while adjusting “to a church where she no longer knows everyone.”
Sharing from her own battle to walk by faith, Hoover said she grew easily discouraged when visitors did not return to the church after she had extended personal invitations.

“One particular family stands out,” she said, recounting the time she met a family at her son’s soccer game. “When we invited them to visit our church, the husband came alone, seemed to connect well with people in our church and with the worship and the sermon, but he and his family never returned.”

From that experience, Hoover said she struggled to separate her personal performance as the pastor’s wife from the Spirit’s work in the church’s growth. “It’s difficult not to turn to strategy in reaching people rather than turn to the Spirit of God.”

“With that family, I began to recognize and trust God as the true head of the church. I am not responsible for outcomes and results; I am just responsible for my faithful obedience. I cannot change the hearts of people or heal marriages; the Spirit alone can do that. I can rest and rejoice knowing that God is responsible for his church.”

Along with addressing the common struggles of women in church planting, Hoover also seeks to dispel certain myths surrounding the church planting wife and her role.

“The main myth surrounding the church planting wife, I believe, is that she is not as essential to the church plant as her husband,” Hoover said, noting that wives of church planters often serve as sounding boards for their husbands, lead major ministries in the church and are key components of hospitality.

“… I believe the wife is equally as essential as the church planter and her attitude and willingness toward God’s call on her husband is a large indicator of the true health of the church.”

“Church planting wives are quietly and powerfully influencing our communities, churches, and our culture,” she said. “My book celebrates the church planting wife’s role and offers her help in embracing her unique role.”

Hoover also hopes the book dispels a second myth—often held by church planting wives themselves—that the pastor’s wife is responsible for doing everything in the church.

“I … hope readers remember the church planting wife’s ‘job description’ that God reiterated to me over and over through the beginning stages of our church plant: ‘Follow me, serve your family, love people, and practice hospitality’,” she said. “In church planting, it appears so much more complicated than that, but it’s really quite simple.”

But despite targeting women in church planting Hoover said the book resonates with any woman in ministry because it focuses on heart issues common to life in community.

“All women who are ministry-minded face issues related to pride, sacrifice, fear, criticism, discouragement, and assisting their husband as he fulfills his calling. The book speaks to those heart issues so, in that regard, I hope it helps any woman who picks up the book align her heart with truth, walk in faith, and continue to sacrificially serve with joy.”

Hoover is particularly hopeful that women from existing or traditional churches will use her book to find ways to encourage the church planting wives in their area. “…We, without a doubt, could not have planted a church without the assistance and support of existing churches,” Hoover said, noting that their initial support came from ‘sending churches’ such as their home church in Texas.

“When Kyle went to our pastor, Chris Osborne at Central Baptist in College Station, and laid out what he felt God was calling us to do, Chris immediately said, ‘We’re on board with you and will help you in whatever way we can.’ Central provided strong financial support and, in the years we’ve been in Charlottesville, has sent mission teams to help us serve our city. The partnership has not only helped us establish a church here but it has also encouraged us personally. We were not sent out and then forgotten.”

Women’s ministries in existing churches have opportunities to bless church planting wives specifically, Hoover added.

“When churches help our church plant, this blesses me personally,” she said. “In our early days, when our children were the only children in the church, I inevitably had to leave our service to care for my children. After a few months, at my husband’s request, another church provided a few college students for us for a few months so that I could attend church. This was such a blessing to me and probably is what kept me sane!”

For this reason, Hoover said she hopes the book sparks faith in women who have influence.

“My prayer is that women will be challenged and encouraged and, through that, marriages, churches, and communities will be strengthened and changed.”

You can find more about Kyle and Christine Hoover at cvillechurch.org or her ministry blog, GraceCoversMe.com.