Leading our kids to Christ

The primary responsibility for teaching children God’s truth is assigned to parents by Scripture. A surprising amount of discussion among people who agree about this has left us with this simple priority that is anything but simple to accomplish. In reality, many parents do not consider the gospel to be an important part of their children’s education. Some of these kids are nonetheless in our churches. We also know some apparently devout parents lack the grounding and confidence to disciple their children. For these reasons, the encouragement of parents in their role should not become a pendulum swing away from the evangelism of children in our churches. Instead, churches should continue reassuming the role of strengthening those families with which they carry some influence without diminishing their direct evangelism of children.

I know there have been excesses and I have seen well-intentioned foolishness by some children’s leaders during my own ministry. Even so, the excess has not been ubiquitous. For every earnest children’s worker who asked my kids ill-considered yes-or-no questions about accepting Jesus, we had 20 who were careful and wise. While Tammi and I were primarily used of God to explain the gospel to our kids, we are ever grateful for those who sang in the chorus. The Lord only knows how significantly they were used to lead our kids to a point of decision.

We’ll continue to uplift the role of parents in these pages for as long as I edit the TEXAN but let me also suggest some things that our churches must shore up if they are going to have a gospel ministry to parents and kids.

—Preach the gospel in every setting: Parents are primary but they are not omnipresent. Preschoolers should regularly hear the gospel from pastors and teachers. Everyone who attends your church should hear it well, winsomely and wholly told. That’s the primary good news of a church; it’s what we mostly have in common. For kids who are old enough to understand, invite them to respond to the gospel in the auditorium, in the classroom, at camp and everywhere else you get a chance. Please don’t become more subtle or timid in sharing the message. Parents who are doing their best will consider you an ally rather than a competitor. And I think this continued telling and inviting will show parents how it’s done. It will give them an experience to play off of in their discipleship of their own children. Churches teach parents and kids at the same time.

—Have Vacation Bible School: When I was in local church ministry, and as far back as I could remember before that, VBS was the big week of the summer for every person in the church. Staff members didn’t go on vacation or on a mission trip that week, volunteers who couldn’t be there during VBS hours handed out invitations to the event and visited families touched during the week.
In my own life, God used VBS workers to lead me to Christ. My parents and my extended family taught me to love the Lord from my earliest memories but it was that week during the summer between fifth and sixth grade that I heard the Lord’s voice. I’m grateful for a church that deliberately encouraged older children to respond to the gospel. There is no reason why that message should be muted in our day. I think there will be fewer adults in coming years who will raise their hands and say, “I was won to Christ during VBS.” Partly this may be because fewer children attend Vacation Bible School and partly because some VBS weeks are less evangelistic for whatever reason.

—Disciple parents at all stages: As I mentioned, the trend seems to be moving toward a more focused effort to help parents with their God-given role. Great, bring it on from pre-natal classes on spiritual leadership to remedial classes for parents of teenagers. Helping an adult disciple his children is also helping an adult to follow Christ. That only multiplies the ministry power of a church. It is ultimately an investment in every significant thing a church should do. Don’t forget single parents, though. Women particularly find themselves raising kids alone. Although I do believe a godly mother will find that the Lord will provide what her children lack from not having their biological father in the home, he often makes that provision through the body of Christ. Churches then can be a part of fathering the fatherless. One the most graphic examples of this I’ve seen was an inner-city church where the community suffered from epidemic fatherlessness. That pastor scheduled individual appointments with fatherless kids when report cards came out. He discussed the report with students, prayed with them and then signed the report card. Mothers in the church were grateful for the assist, especially the mothers of boys. This pastor invested time and attention in children who needed a father figure because he considered this a priority pastoral ministry. How can your church shore up that fatherless family next door to your building? It sounds like a pretty good application of James 1:27.

—Invest your best in this ministry: Nope, I’m not saying that you should double your budget for children’s ministry. Money is rarely the biggest need. Instead, strategically utilize the best teachers and encouragers and evangelists you have in ministry to those under 18 years old. Your second string should be focused on their parents. Maybe that gifted lady who’s enjoyed teaching her friends for the past 20 years should be retooled to disciple those the age of her children or grandchildren—perhaps her whole class needs to be assigned to this ministry. Your teachers and gifted leaders are resources. How strange that so many churches invest these gifted people in relatively mature Christians. Consider also your staff leadership of children’s ministry. If your church is large enough to have a full or part-time children’s minister, or a youth minister, do you have someone in place whom parents will consider a credible resource for their own efforts to disciple their kids? Most churches do not. If these are pastoral roles, and they are in fact if not in intent, more careful consideration should be given to the person who leads. The same would be true of churches that depend on volunteer leadership. Consider someone respected by parents rather than someone who is merely fun with kids.

In the training of our kids, we were blessed with a wide selection of what we used to call “significant other adults.” These men and women said the same thing we said without having that tired old Mom and Dad face. From our side the collection of these people appeared to be deliberate on our part or the surprising provision of God—it did not often appear to be a well-planned church strategy. God can use good planning and most parents would consider the help a nice surprise.

So yes, I agree with our experts that parents are primary in the winning and discipling of children. I also agree that churches, rather than any other human institution, should be in a secondary facilitating role in this great ministry. But this secondary role is important. It must not diminish just because we are exalting the primary role of parents. I don’t believe churches generally have been doing the wrong things in children’s ministry but I do wonder if we’re starting to neglect doing the right things.