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FORT WORTH?”Families are falling apart all over the place. People are looking for a family that works,” declared Dorothy Patterson at the Sept 22-23 SBTC Ministers’ Wives Retreat. “We’re to teach them to love their husbands and love their children,” she explained through a study from Titus 2.
The author, women’s studies professor and seminary president’s wife related the curriculum God provides for minister’s wives, urging them to order their lives according to scriptural priorities.
“You are setting a pattern for the women in your church,” she said, [by] “taking time for yourself, your family and helping your husband before you start accepting responsibilities in the church.”
Identifying those whom they teach, Patterson said, “Even if you are young in your first opportunity for ministry, the contrast is not just age and experience. It’s a woman totally sold out to the Lord Jesus Christ, totally determined to stand under his Word in contrast to a woman, whatever her age, who is new to the faith.”
Failure to follow those instructions results in blaspheming God’s Word.
“If we cut through the Word of God, disparage it, ignore the teachings he has given to us, we’ve destroyed his revelation of himself.”
Because God chose to use the metaphor of home to reveal himself, Patterson said a minister’s wife should align her priorities with Scripture, providing a testimony through her home.
The public nature of being in the ministry makes criticism commonplace, stated Susie Hawkins, a women’s ministry leader, teacher and wife of a minister. She encouraged minister’s wives to be open to the possibility that God is saying something through rebuke from others?”something you need to correct in your own spiritual walk.”
The adage to “consider the source” can help them determine whether the critic has the person’s best interests in mind, she said. “There are some people in life you can never please. Learn to minimize your contact with them and do what you have to do to be sweet. Love them in Jesus from a distance.” Hawkins added, “Do not waste one minute of this blessed life trying to earn approval from people who will never give it to you.”
She further encouraged wives of ministers to check their motives when their actions are criticized. “That is easier said than done because our capacity for self-justification knows no bounds.”
By asking the Holy Spirit to reveal any sin in one’s life, wrong motives are revealed and behavior can be corrected, she said.
Exaggerating the criticism received adds to the conflict experienced, she said, encouraging honest reflection. Furthermore, she said, determine whether the criticism offered really matters. Recalling Paul’s response that it was a small thing to be judged by the critical Corinthians, she pointed to the apostle’s ability to discern whether concerns were valid.
From the example of Peter and Paul separating over a conflict, she spoke of the importance of addressing important disagreements involving moral and theological issues.
“Paul confronted him in front of all the other elders and pastors. This was the issue of the day.” Hawkins concluded, “I’m convinced that must have been very, very uncomfortable for everybody, but he had to do it.”
Noting the variety of circumstances, issues and people involved, Hawkins reminded, “The Bible has lots of good counsel for us. There is a time to speak and a time to be quiet, a time to take action and a time to lay low. That’s why we must be filled with the Holy Spirit of God and listen to his direction.”
Nadine Tubbs encouraged ministers’ wives
