12 ways to pray for your wife

1. Pray that you would be filled with the Holy Spirit so that He gives you the grace you need (Ephesians 5:18).
2. Pray that you love her as God loves us and sent his Son to be the propitiation (wrath-quencher) for our sins: “Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another” (1 John 4:10-11).
3. Pray that you would love her sacrificially as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). That you would give yourself up for her. That you would love her in a self-sacrificial way. That you would study her and learn what she needs and even what she likes. That you would listen to her. That you would serve her instead of expecting her to serve you. That you would love her in such a way that the lost would see a picture of who God is (Ephesians 5:28-33). That you would “love, lead, and serve her like Christ in such a way that your heart, your words, and your actions toward your wife would woo her, win her, and sanctify her, leading her to joyfully submit to your leadership. Remember that is how Jesus loves, serves, and leads you. He is gentle and lowly in heart.” — Pastor Nick Esch*
4. Pray that you would understand her, honor her, and treat her as the weaker vessel like a fine china doll (1 Peter 3:7 – Notice the second part of this verse: that your prayers be unhindered. If you wonder why God is not answering your prayers, this may be your reason).
5. Pray that your words would build her up and give her grace; that you would never put her down or speak badly of her even in jest (Ephesians 4:29).
6. Pray that you would always be kind and tenderhearted to her; quick to forgive (Ephesians 4:32). When we forgive, we are being like Christ (Matthew 18:21-35). “Our joy in forgiving others is directly connected to the unspeakable, glorious joy of God’s forgiveness of us and his great delight in us.” — John Piper
7. Pray that you would be a one-woman kind of man. You would only have eyes for her. (Some guys jokingly say, “Just because I have made my selection doesn’t mean I can’t look at the menu.”  That is wrong in so many ways. Pray that you are so satisfied with the wife God gave you that you never look at another woman in an ungodly way or a way that would make your wife insecure. You would always remember that marriage is permanent. You would never wonder “What if?” no matter what. You would never withhold your love from her no matter what. You stay with her no matter what. Your heart would beat for her no matter what.
8. Pray that you would have the patience toward her that God showed towards Israel (Exodus 34:6, Psalm 86:15, Psalm 103:8, Joel 2:3).
9. Pray that you would overlook minor offenses but lovingly and gently confront when necessary (Proverbs 19:11, Matthew 8:15, Ephesians 4:26).
10. Pray that you would look beyond her faults as God overlooks ours (Isaiah 43:25).
11. Pray that you would lead her to be more like Christ (Ephesians 5:25-33).
12. Pray that you would be a constant encourager for her (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

In the unlikely event you did not notice, all these are really about praying for yourself so that you can be the leader God intended. In fact, Daniel prayed for himself before praying for his people (Dan 9:20-21). So next time you are frustrated with your wife, next time you are struggling to do these things, remember to pray for yourself first and then you will better be able to pray for her.

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