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FORT WORTH?Casey Chappell never expected the first burial service she would ever attend would be that of her newborn son, Asher Daniel.
Diagnosed at 28 weeks in utero with omphalocele, a condition in which abdominal organs grow outside the body, Casey and her husband, Dan, a Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary student, said they spent the next 10 weeks praying for Asher’s healing. However, Asher passed away shortly after his delivery on Aug. 9, 2008 and was buried five days later.
During the ceremony, the couple said they clung to the words of resurrection in the well-known hymn composed by Bill and Gloria Gaither, “because he lives I can face tomorrow.”
“Today I attended my first burial ever. I never dreamed it would be my own son’s. I must admit it was harder than I ever thought it would be, and I really struggled with being angry?” Casey wrote on her blog, a tool God would use during the next two years to lead the couple into healing and ministry.
On the eve of what would be Asher’s second birthday, the couple took the time to reflect on the blessings of grief introduced to them through the death of their son and their ongoing journey of healing in an interview with the TEXAN.
“I think part of it is knowing that because of Christ, death is not final,” said Dan, who is pursing an master of Christian education degree at SWBTS. “So we can grieve as those with hope. Death is sad, yes, but it’s not final.”
? I Can Face Tomorrow
Trusting God and hoping for a miracle was foremost in the couple’s mind during the later stages of their pregnancy.
“I know that we have to trust in a hand of a good God that has only our best in mind,” Casey wrote in a blog entry on June 10. “It’s hard to trust this big hand that created this child inside me that I’m being told is probably not going to live more than a few hours or days. But he is big, and he is good. I know that, Dan knows that. But now we are being called to live that day by day in a very real and hard way.”
Even moments after Asher’s death, the couple clung to hope and trust in a God who is good.
“It was a horrible time for us, but we knew our prayers had been answered, healing had taken place, our son was now whole and completely perfect in heaven and beholding the face of God,” Casey told the TEXAN. “The waves of sorrow felt crushing to our bodies and minds but it was well with our souls.”
The couple was allowed to spend the night in the hospital with their newly-departed son surrounded by a host of family and friends in Christ.
“That night the hospital let us hold him as long as we wanted to, we didn’t sleep but a few hours and in the morning had a precious time of devotion and prayer over him and said our final goodbyes,” Casey said. “I would have thought before all this that I would never have the strength to do something like that or that it might be a little strange to have him there with us.”
But in reflecting on the delivery two months later in an Aug. 10 post, Casey described the evening as a “precious time of communication with God and with each other.”
“We never will be the same,” she wrote.
Not yet realizing the poignancy of those words, the couple embarked on a divinely-appointed road of healing that would culminate in a ministry to other hurting individuals and children.
Shortly after the funeral service, the couple quickly realized that despite the briefness of Asher’s life, their son was a living testimony to the grace of God found only in the message of the gospel. In an Aug. 14 post, Casey called her son “my little missionary.”
“In Asher’s short 9-month life in utero, he was able to go to places, to hospitals, into conversations, into people’s hearts that I couldn’t have gone alone,” Casey recalled. “Sure, I was the one who was able to communicate verbally to others on his behalf. But his existence spoke loudly to people, and his beating heart confounded doctors who said he wouldn’t live as long as he did. He was there and wasn’t going to stop living until God’s purposes were fulfilled for him.”
“We’re able to reach into hurting hearts when others can’t. We’re able to speak with intentionality how God creates us to know him and to be known by him,” the couple said. “God used Asher to reach a group of people that we never could have without having had him in our lives, and continues to do so even after he’s gone.”
All Fear is Gone
The couple’s decision to publicly grapple with the loss has also reaped a harvest of blessings, Casey said.
“I had an unbelieving client at work who read my blog and told me that she was talking to her husband about it that evening. After relaying what was going on with my pregnancy, [her husband] asked her, ‘what makes a person still trust God in times like these? How can she be so hopeful?'” Casey recounted, adding that she was able to spend the rest of their appointment sharing the hope of Christ. “The gospel became something tangible for her to see in our lives. She is now pursuing Christ and wanting him to work in her family.”
When the couple received news of Asher’s diagnosis, Casey said the website quickly became a way to appeal “to the saints for their prayers.”
“I know there were days, weeks that I was being carried by the prayers of those who read the new updates. There were days I couldn’t pray myself. I could type what was going on, but I couldn’t pray, words just were too deep, too confused, too hurt to cry out. But I know many were praying those words of help and healing.” <br style=
