View church ministry through ‘family lens,’ conference speakers urge

Drawing on an agricultural picture from his West Texas background, Richard Ross described the landscape of church life as a cluster of silos?one for preschoolers, one for school-age children, one for students, one for adult ministries, and so on.

“What we don’t need is one more silo that is the “family-ministry silo,” he said in sharing his vision for family-focused church ministry.

Speaking to hundreds of ministers and future church leaders at a conference co-hosted by the Southern Baptists of Texas Convention and Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, Ross emphasized that ministry to families is not another program or age-group “silo” to manage. Rather, it is a way to view existing ministries while always keeping in mind the Deuteronomy 6:4-9 mandate for parents to be the primary spiritual instructors of their children.

“Figure out laterally how to put a family focus on it. Use a ‘home lens’ for everything versus creating a new silo,” he said.

Further explaining the problem, Ross said, “Our primary model has been ‘church-centered and family-supported.’ We have created programs at church and we have tried to motivate families to support those programs.” Ross contends that for the last 50 years churches have inadvertently taught parents their whole duty in training their children spiritually is to drop them off at church for the professionals to instruct them.

The biblical model is very different: “And you tell in the hearing of your son and your son’s son, the mighty things I have done ? that you may know that I Am the Lord,” Ross said, quoting Exodus 10:2. “That’s how this thing was supposed to work.”

Off track and under attack

Southwestern Seminary President Paige Patterson delivered the opening address in the two-day gathering called “Connected: Families and Churches, Partners in Ministry,” reminding participants how far from a biblical foundation the family and church have strayed.

“What is the hallowed position that is under attack? God in his infinite wisdom and benevolence has prescribed the family as the basic unit of social order providing a rather specific and functional and relational model which, if embraced, pays significant dividends not only for the individual and the family, but also for all other aspects of the social order,” he asserted.

Other key directives of Scripture for family that Patterson believes are devalued or omitted because they are not popular include the mandates that a husband and wife be devoted to each other for life, that children honor and obey their parents, that the man is the head of the wife as Christ is head of the church, and that God’s created order is perfect and absolute.

Patterson’s solution is to return to our commitment to the whole counsel of God from our pulpits. “‘The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul’?turning the soul back to God,” he said referencing Psalm 19:7. “If this is the Word of God, you have to do it his way. That is where we find happiness, fulfillment, joy and meaningfulness for life.”

Ross noted another ministry dynamic that he believes has served to remove the primary role of spiritual instruction from parents. To better serve congregations, churches have, over recent decades, hired more and more specialized age-group ministers.

“In a sincere desire to earn their keep, many [age-group ministers] have created new programs designed to spiritually transform children and youth. And in a sincere desire to see those programs prosper, they have intentionally or unintentionally communicated to parents that those programs offer the best hope for spiritually strong children.”

Ross does not advocate eliminating staff positions as a solution. Instead, he believes a change in their roles is warranted. “An age-group minister who sets himself or herself up as an alternative to the parents, or implies consciously or unconsciously, ‘I’m doing most of this, and parents, you help me out’?that person needs a change of heart.”

“But I do think those who are ready to come alongside parents and champion families have a valuable place in the church to come,” Ross added.

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