As pastors, sometimes it’s hard to imagine there are people in the church who don’t like us. Maybe it’s a small minority, even just one or two people. But it’s true—sometimes people won’t like you. Maybe it’s because of decisions you’ve made. Maybe it’s your priorities or personality. Maybe it’s your preaching or even your clothing.

No matter the reason, this can be a hard thing for pastors to accept. Even if you’re not bothered by the opinions of others, it can be difficult to lead those who may be upset with you. So how do you lead people who seem like they don’t like you? Three simple, perhaps unsurprising ways:

1. Be glad they love Jesus.

It’s not about you. It’s not about me. It’s all about Jesus. Therefore, if these individuals truly love Jesus, this is something to celebrate. Even if they’re upset over trivial or secondary things, we can be glad they have the main thing—and that’s Jesus. Perhaps this isn’t true of all, but for those who love Jesus and just disagree with you, you still have more in common with them than anyone else in the world. You have experienced the same grace of God in Jesus Christ. This is something to be glad about.

2. Empathize with them.

Depending on why they’re upset, this may be difficult. But it’s at least possible to genuinely empathize with people you feel are in the wrong. If someone is upset (even over secondary things like music style or how long you preach), we can genuinely try and understand why they’re upset. At a minimum, trying to understand where they’re coming from may help limit your frustration. Of course, there may be exceptions to this rule.

3. Love and serve no matter what.

I tell my church family often that one of the most important times to gather with God’s people is when we don’t feel like gathering with God’s people. The same is true for us as pastors. One of the most important times to love and serve God’s people is when we don’t feel like loving and serving God’s people. And this includes the people who may not be very happy with you.

This may all seem simple. It is. It’s simple to understand, but at times very difficult to implement. Too often, however, our immediate response to criticism is, “Well, I don’t care what people think.” I’m all for caring more about what God thinks than what people think, but let’s not forget: we’re to care for the people in our flock. This means we should care what they think, at least to an extent.

A book that has helped me greatly with leading when people don’t like me is When People are Big and God is Small by Ed Welch. If you are deeply bothered by opinions others may have of you, I encourage you to read this book. It will challenge you in making sure your fear of God always trumps your fear of man.

We should be glad they love Jesus (assuming they do). We should empathize when they disagree or are upset. We should love and serve no matter what. After all, Jesus loved us while we were yet sinners. We can do the same for God’s people.

When I was in high school, all I needed to begin a dating relationship was to know a girl liked me. I didn’t consider other important factors, such as the girl’s character or relationship history. As a result, these relationships always ended badly.

Church membership is often treated this way. Many issues in our churches occur because we are often not clear with those seeking membership about what we believe and what we expect from them. Why? Because sometimes—like I was in high school—we’re just happy someone likes us. As a result, these relationships can often end badly.

That is why your membership process matters. At our church, we use a membership class to ensure people understand our expectations, what we believe, and how we operate. Here are a few best practices to consider if you are thinking about implementing a membership class or want to improve your existing membership process:

Be doctrinally firm

Doctrine is critical to maintaining unity in the church. Some doctrines are first-tier issues; others are second- or third-tier. A membership class is a great venue to be very frank about how your church views doctrine. Helping prospective members understand clearly what church leadership believes could save you much unnecessary heartache in the future.

Invite current members to the class

We ask our members to be table leaders in our membership classes. Table leaders interview incoming members, try to answer their questions, and ask them to dinner at their house. Church leaders and elders often conduct further interviews with prospective members when needed. Once the interview process is over, the table leaders present the prospective members to the congregation, share their testimonies, and recommend them for membership. We vote, we celebrate, and we welcome.

Careful in, beautiful out 

One of our deacons leads an exit care ministry. His job is to follow up with members who are moving to other churches. We love these people and often cry as our deacon reads letters at our member meetings from these departing brothers or sisters telling us of the church they are moving on to and how they still love our church. These departures are both beautiful and hard. We always say, “If leaving wasn’t hard, then it wasn’t good.” This healthy attitude starts at our membership class.

Following these practices creates a huge win for our church. Not only are we helping prospective members clearly understand where our church stands on important doctrinal issues, but our current members get a refresher course on what it means to be a church member and take ownership in that process. At the same time, relationships are formed between existing members and new members.

We typically have at least one prospective member decide to not join the church each time we have a class. Some want to wait and pray before joining; others move on to other churches that agree with them on issues that are personally important to them.

I praise the Lord for all of this. I am glad for these people. I am grateful that the unity in our church has been protected, and I am thankful that our current members get to see—and participate—in this important process.

Mrs. Dot became a Christian very late in life. Her conversion was the result of the faithful and steady witness of her nursing home roommate, who would invite Mrs. Dot to church each Sunday. Mrs. Dot soon gave her life to Christ. Her subsequent baptism, however, put all things practical to the test.

Mrs. Dot suffered from a long list of health problems, including a recent stroke. As a result, she was unable to speak, found it difficult to breathe, and was beyond fragile. That meant the methods many churches use for baptism—baptistries, horse troughs, or nearby bodies of water—were out of the question.

But there was one other option for Mrs. Dot—a church member’s swimming pool. Several men hoisted Mrs. Dot, in her wheelchair, into the pool to be baptized. She insisted on being fully immersed, despite her obvious health concerns.

Where there is water, there is a way.

Sometimes baptisms require you to be flexible, but you always need a plan. No matter the circumstances, here are a few practical considerations for pastors and church leaders to consider when planning for a baptism:

• Who will be doing the baptizing? Will it be the pastor, youth minister, father, or the person who led them to Jesus? For Mrs. Dot, it took more than a handful of people.
• What will the baptism candidate wear? Some wear robes, others do not. Wherever your church culture leads in this regard, make sure baptism attire is modest—especially when it gets wet. Some people prefer to wear swimwear beneath their clothing when they are baptized. That’s always OK. Be sure your church keeps clean towels on hand and maybe even some generic shorts and T-shirts (leftover T-shirts from church events are great for this). You’d be surprised how often people forget to bring a towel and a change of clothes.
• Ask the baptism candidate ahead of time if they are afraid of water. You’re welcome.
• Walk them through the process when you meet to explain the meaning of baptism. Show the candidate where to place their hands as they are lowered into the water. Encourage them to invite family and friends to witness their baptism.
• Some baptistries have a built-in stool. This makes it easier to baptize someone taller or stouter than you. Stools can also help when baptizing someone who has a hard time kneeling down or getting up. Having a good, strong deacon or helper nearby is a good idea. It might keep someone from slipping or being embarrassed if they cannot easily be raised up. Considering things like this ahead of time will help ensure the baptism will be exciting and joyful, not a time for someone to be embarrassed or get hurt.
• Heat the water if you can. Not too cold, not too hot. Likewise, lake baptisms in January might not be as fun as they would in July.
• Enlist the help of men and women in your church to help with all the tasks involved in carrying out a baptism. Their help in preparing the water, towels, and more will free you up to focus on the candidate.
• Bear in mind that while you can have baptisms during any part of your worship service, you might need time to change clothes before and after.

Pragmatically speaking, it’s totally fine to think outside of the box as you approach baptisms—so long as we aren’t thinking outside of the Bible.

I’m a student pastor and I do hospital visits every week. It’s not that I have a large contingent of sick students, but I’ve realized hospital visits need to be part of every pastor’s ministry—even if you’re not in the lead seat.

It’s no secret the life of a staff pastor can be busy and demanding. With countless responsibilities, from preparing sermons and lessons to counseling church members and overseeing ministry programs, it may be tempting to assume hospital visits are someone else’s job. The sick only want to see the lead pastor anyway, right?

The Bible, however, makes a strong case for every pastor to visit the sick, regardless of his role within the church. James underscores the importance of pastoral care for the sick in James 5:14-15, stating, “Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up.” James expects all the elders—plural—of the church to be involved with the care for the sick.

Moreover, visiting the sick offers practical and spiritual benefits for staff pastors:

It creates community with church members.

When staff pastors visit the sick, it helps create a more unified and compassionate church community. This shared responsibility for pastoral care strengthens the bonds between church members and pastors, fostering a genuine sense of love and support between the leadership and membership. When your student pastor visits a senior adult, your worship pastor visits a child, or your education pastor visits a student, you see relationships form that might have never formed outside a hospital. Some of my favorite relationships with senior adults in our church started because I was able to visit them in the hospital.

It helps you grow in your pastoral skill set.

Visiting the sick offers an opportunity for non-lead pastors to develop essential pastoral skills, such as active listening, empathy, and offering biblical counsel. These skills are invaluable for any pastor, regardless of their specific ministry role. Staff pastors, while called to administrate specific roles, are pastors of the whole church. Developing these skills will help a pastor in any aspect of his ministry.

It allows you to assist other pastors.

Often, one or two pastors make a majority of a church’s hospital visits. In seasons when there are a lot of visits to make, you can serve a friend and co-laborer by helping share that load. This can serve to foster good pastoral relationships on staff and free your brother up to flourish in other elements of his ministry.

Additionally, here are four tips for hospital visits:

Set up a hospital rotation.

If you’re on a church with a larger staff, it may be helpful to schedule a hospital rotation. Our staff assigns a different pastor to cover each day of the week. This allows us to make sure every member gets visited and no one is missed.

Pray and prepare.

Spend time in prayer before making each visit, asking for God’s guidance and wisdom. Be ready to listen and offer encouragement from God’s Word. Think through ways to address theological questions that may come up such as “Why me?” or “Will God heal me?” This will allow you to provide helpful counsel without being caught off guard.

Be present and listen.

During your visit, focus on being fully present with the patient. Listen to their concerns, fears, and hopes and offer genuine empathy and understanding. Don’t make the visit seem like you’re checking off a box, but instead, show the patient you genuinely care about them.

Don’t forget the gospel.

There is no better news when you’ve found out your body is breaking down than being reminded God will one day raise our bodies up. While we pray for people and counsel them in difficult situations in the hospital, never forget the best news we can give them is not getting better in this life, but a glorious resurrection purchased by Christ that is coming for all who believe in Him. Make sure to always share this good news with visiting a lost person.